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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28128495">il naufragar</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadlurker/pseuds/themadlurker'>themadlurker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Actual Murder, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Murder, Drabble Sequence, Drowning, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Episode: s01e07 Gates of Avalon, F/F, International Day of Femslash, Jealousy, Mind Control, Prophetic Dreams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2009-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2009-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:01:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28128495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadlurker/pseuds/themadlurker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>e il naufragar m'è dolce in questo mare</i><br/>how sweet to drown in such a sea</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Morgana/Sophia (Merlin)</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the International Day of Femslash, 2009. Each part is a separate AU, although some could be read as connected.</p>
<p>Many thanks to <a href="/users/VerboseWordsmith/">verbosewordsmith</a> for the beta and pointing out countless mistakes I made with the canon. Anything that still doesn't make sense is the result of my own stubbornness.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I had another dream... I saw myself lying under water, drowning, and there was a woman, standing over me, watching me die. And she's here, in Camelot."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morgana dreams of a woman's face looking down at her through the water, and wakes gasping for air.</p><p>Gaius tells her it was just a foolish dream, and tries to soothe her fears. He doesn't understand the true source of her fear though, because Morgana hasn't told him all of it. She hasn't told him how it felt to drown like that, the way she felt looking up at her face. She could feel herself floating under the surface, blissful and content, not even caring as the water rushed into her lungs. When she tells him the dream frightened her, it isn't because she was dying. It's because she was so sorry to wake up.</p><p>She tries to put the dream from her mind, but can't, haunted by eyes deeper than the water, and a hand stretching out above her. Then she
turns a corner and finds herself gasping for breath, the same face near to hers. Strangely, she's still standing on solid ground.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"We're in love, which is why we've come before you today, to ask your permission to marry."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur announces their intent to wed as Morgana looks on in disbelief. After everyone has left, stormed out, or been threatened with arrest, Morgana shakes herself from her stupor, and flies upstairs, intending to burst into Arthur's chambers and convince him of his madness. Her steps take her past the strangers' door and she pauses. Sophia stands in the half-open doorway and smiles, beckoning. Morgana stares at her in stunned amazement, then bursts into the room.</p><p>"How <em>dare</em> you! You presumptuous, you ignorant..." She stops.</p><p>Sophia's hands are at the lacings on her dress. Morgana gazes, open mouthed, as the girl reaches out her arm, inviting. In a daze, Morgana steps forward. The door slams shut behind her. Sophia's eyes glow, and Morgana can't see her own eyes flash in answer. Sophia stands utterly still as Morgana's fumbling hands work at the fastenings of her gown and the cloth falls silently to the floor. Sophia reaches out with flattened palm to trace the outline of Morgana's shoulder.</p><p>Morgana finds herself falling onto the bed, eyes open, her body helpless to obey. She's already drowning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"If you're jealous, Morgana, it's okay to admit it." "Don't flatter yourself."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No one will believe that Sophia is something other than what she seems. Arthur's infatuation may be explained away by Sophia's beauty, but Morgana knows there is something else there, hidden behind the girl's eyes. Otherwise, why would Morgana have felt the pull of the stranger rescued from the forest? Otherwise, why would she want to claw at Arthur's eyes every time Sophia places her hand upon his arm?</p><p>The wedding is months in the making, months of pleading on the part of the young couple, as Morgana does everything to oppose it short of screaming her objections from the highest tower. She curses Uther as he finally, grudgingly, gives his consent and watches in bewilderment as messengers arrive from Aulfric's lands, bearing gifts and promises of alliance. Surely this must be a trick, or sorcery. She tells Gaius of her dream, that comes with increasing frequency: Sophia pushes Arthur beneath the surface of the lake and watches him drown. (She doesn't mention the swoop of joy she feels at the sight.) Gaius tells her to be "sensible" and gives her a draught to calm her nerves. Merlin, at least, seems equally upset by the proceedings, but when she hopefully, tentatively suggests that Arthur's infatuation may be nothing but a magician's trick, Merlin just looks glum and mutters that he wishes it were that simple.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Careful!" "Don't worry — I will be."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What have you done to him?" Morgana cries.</p>
<p>Sophia ignores her, trying to slip past Morgana on the stair.</p>
<p>"Answer me!" she insists, and grab's the girl's arm. It strikes her how strange Sophia's silence is, after the way she stood yesterday, glaring up at Morgana in defiance. "What's the matter with you, anyway?"</p>
<p>"I was nearly killed today," Sophia whispers. "The king's guards attacked us in the forest, and I was nearly killed."</p>
<p>Morgana loosens her grip, lets her fingers trail gently along Sophia's arm. Her other hand lifts, shaking, to touch the girl's cheek.</p>
<p>"Arthur?"</p>
<p>"He saved me. If he hadn't seen the arrow - Morgana, I could have <em>died</em>."</p>
<p>"No." The word is half-strangled in her throat. "No," she repeats, more firmly. "Arthur would never let that happen. You're going to -- with him by your side -- don't even think about dying. Sophia, you're going to live <em>forever</em>."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"We rescued her in the woods — well, Arthur did most of the rescuing."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something moves in the forest, and Morgana pulls Sophia to the ground as an arrow passes through the very space where they had stood. For a moment neither of them moves. Morgana's face is pressed into the soft tangles of Sophia's hair and she can feel a hand on her arm where it clutched in sudden fear.</p>
<p>"Who goes there?" cries a voice. "Answer! in the name of the king."</p>
<p>Morgana recognizes the voice: it is a guard from the palace. Out searching for the bandits, no doubt. Still, she hesitates to rise, feeling oddly exposed before the searchers' gaze.</p>
<p>The guard lowers his weapon at the sight of her, and he inclines his head in half a bow.</p>
<p>"Pardon, my lady. We did not know you were in these woods. Are you alone? It is not safe here without an escort."</p>
<p>Behind her, Sophia rises and shakes the dirt from her cloak.</p>
<p>"We are quite safe, as you see. But for the arrows of the king's guards."</p>
<p>"Leave us," Morgana commands. "We have seen no bandits here."</p>
<p>The guard bows again and returns to his fellows in the offing. Just as the search party vanishes from sight, another figure emerges from the thicket.</p>
<p>The bandit levels his sword at Sophia. Morgana's hand reaches for the dagger concealed within her skirts.</p>
<p>"I'll take that money now," he says. "In fact, I think the price is greater now. You never said my men would be killed</p>
<p>Sophia reaches calmly into her cloak and produces a purse, which she tosses to the bandit.</p>
<p>"You should not complain of their fate," she pronounces in a high, thin voice. "You will share it soon enough."</p>
<p>Her staff flashes brightly and the man is torn apart before Morgana's eyes. She smiles.</p>
<p>"Not long now, my love."</p>
<p>Sophia's smile answers her own.</p>
<p>"Arthur for me, and Uther for you. We shall dwell forever in the land of Avalon."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"She must never find out the truth."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morgana paces the length of her chambers, awaiting any sign of Arthur's return. Ever since she saw the three figures slip away from the castle, she has had the sensation of iron bonds clasped around her chest. Peering out into the darkness, she sees shadows leap and dance before her eyes, throwing her heart into flutters of hope or despair. Everything is still.</p>
<p>She traces her path across the floor again, almost turning away when a real and solid shape resolves itself in the dim torchlight of the courtyard. Two figures: one standing, one thrown across its back. She recognizes the bulk of Arthur's armour, but she tries to make herself believe...</p>
<p>Merlin looks up directly into the light of Morgana's window, and she can see his pale and earnest face clearly.</p>
<p>Gaius sends for her at length to assure her of Arthur's safety, and tells her a strange story of the intended elopement. There is something in his voice though — or perhaps it is the way his eyes turn away from her when he says that Aulfric and Sophia have passed on to their own lands — that makes the iron wind tighter around her lungs until she finds herself standing by her window again, gasping for breath. It is not weeping: the breaths are too controlled and regular. She presses her cheek against the cold stone, and thinks of the many things that may happen when two go into the water and only one returns.</p>
<p>Much as she feared the images of her dream, she now fears even more the hidden tale of the Lady Sophia's disappearance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I've never seen you fall under a woman's spell so quickly."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morgana watches as Arthur and Sophia head for the stables, heads bowed together in close conference. As they disappear from sight, she makes her way back to Sophia's half-open door, and slips into the room. She lets her hand skim idly over the few possessions Sophia has left lying out: a book, a soft leather pouch, the cloak she wore when she entered Camelot. At length, her eyes come to rest on the staff, a walking stick that both father and daughter carried with them. The top wraps around a blue stone. Morgana reaches out to trace the faint markings she sees on the wood. The stone glows faintly. She's surprised to feel it warm to her hand.</p>
<p>A door creaks behind her. A gasp.</p>
<p>Morgana turns to find Sophia framed in the doorway, her hand resting on the forgotten cloak that lies draped over a chair. Morgana stares at her, the warmth of the staff still tingling across her hand</p>
<p>"The writing on the staff. That isn't ordinary, it isn't — it's not just writing, is it? You're a magician. A sorceress."</p>
<p>Sophia lifts her chin, proud and angry, but Morgana doesn't wait for her to argue or protest.</p>
<p>"<em>Teach me</em>," she breathes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><i>e il naufragar m'è dolce in questo mare</i><br/>— Giacomo Leopardi, <i>L'infinito</i></p>
</blockquote><br/><strong>Content warnings:</strong> Episode-based canon forced suicide attempt by Arthur. Canon amounts of gaslighting Morgana about her own magic. Ambiguous consent/dub-con in Morgana's relationship with Sophia, where it's not clear whether Morgana is also being influenced by Sophia's magic or by her own feelings.</blockquote></div></div>
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